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Hey.
So, um, I've been stuck inside like all of you for the last couple of weeks.
I'm going a little crazy,
so I thought I'd, uh…
do a little song like I used to in one of these videos.
I hope you like it.
Here it is.
[playing simple song intro]
♪ Trying to be funny And stuck in a room ♪
♪ There isn't much else To say about it ♪
♪ Can one be funny When stuck in a room ♪
♪ Being in, trying to get Something out of it? ♪
♪ Try making faces ♪
♪ Try telling jokes ♪
♪ Making little sounds ♪
[blows raspberry]
[stops playing]
[sighs]
[guttural chant droning]
♪ Jeffrey ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey ♪
♪ Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey ♪
♪ Be… ♪
♪ …zos ♪
♪ Jeff ♪
♪ Be… ♪
♪ …zos ♪
[synthesized drumbeats playing]
♪ Wake up every morning At a quarter to 10:00 ♪
♪ Like, "Am I dying? Is this real? Oh, right, it's this again" ♪
♪ I'm awoken by my daughter As she jumps in my bed ♪
♪ I'm only kidding I don't have a kid, I crochet instead ♪
-♪ Am I depressed? ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ Stressed? It's anyone's guess ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'll bother getting better When I bother getting dressed ♪
-♪ Is it gonna end? ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ When? ♪ -♪ Never ♪
♪ Alrighty then ♪
♪ It's just another day Of hanging with my daughter ♪
♪ And I'm living In the future, uh-huh ♪
♪ I'm living in the future, uh-huh ♪
♪ Make it to the shower By a quarter to 1:00 ♪
♪ This bottle shampoos and conditions It's a 2-for-1 ♪
♪ I draw a little doggy On the fog of the glass ♪
♪ Just like the ones I used to draw Back in geometry class ♪
-♪ Am I depressed? ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ Stressed? It's anyone's guess ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'll bother getting better When I bother getting dressed ♪
-♪ Am I kinda hot? ♪ -♪ No ♪
-♪ What? That's what I thought ♪ -♪ Nothing ♪
♪ I bought an app to help me meditate That didn't work ♪
♪ I'm living in the future, uh-huh ♪
[song ends]
[chair squeaks]
♪ The world is changing ♪
♪ The planet's heating up… ♪
♪ I guess it's true that some people Really gotta fight to survive ♪
♪ And some people Are white guys in 1985 ♪
♪ White guy ♪
♪ 1985 ♪
[upbeat music plays]
Trying to make popcorn.
♪ Trying to make microwave popcorn ♪
So, um, I've been filming things for,
like, a month now,
and I don't really have anything that's even kinda close to usable yet.
So I'm just hoping I can write
or film something soon that's usable,
or I'm gonna just stop
and play PlayStation.
[hums]
Is this fucking doing anything?
Is this looking cool or just fucking stupid?
Is this fucking stupid or fucking--
[synthesized song intro playing]
♪ If you'd have told me a year ago ♪
♪ That I'd be locked inside Of my home ♪
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
♪ I would have told you a year ago ♪
♪ "Interesting, now leave me alone" ♪
♪ Sorry that I look like a mess ♪
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
♪ I booked a haircut But it got rescheduled ♪
♪ Robert's been a little depressed ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ And so today I'm gonna try Just getting up, sitting down ♪
♪ Going back to work ♪
♪ Might not help But still it couldn't hurt ♪
♪ I'm sitting down, writing jokes ♪
♪ Singing silly songs ♪
♪ I'm sorry I was gone ♪
♪ But look, I made you some content ♪
♪ Daddy made you your favorite ♪
♪ Open wide ♪
♪ Here comes the content ♪
♪ It's a beautiful day To stay inside ♪
[song ends]
[song restarts]
-[song stops] -[birds chirping]
[piano ballad playing]
Auto… [overlapping dialogue] …6,400.
1,600.
Now it's at 5,000.
Welcome to Legends, Jim Carrey.
I'm a stupid little bitch!
That, left.
Left is off.
♪ And there's only one thing I can do about it ♪
♪ While being paid And being the center of attention ♪
♪ Healing the world with comedy ♪
♪ For the good… ♪
-♪ Very cool, way to go ♪ -♪ …American ♪
[door creaking]
♪ I just, I just wanna feel good ♪
♪ I just wanna feel good ♪
-♪ I just wanna feel ♪ -♪ I just wanna feel good ♪
♪ Can you teach me how to feel good? ♪
♪ I just wanna feel good ♪
-♪ I just wanna ♪ -♪ I just wanna feel good ♪
♪ Give me specific directions ♪
♪ On how I can feel good ♪
-♪ I just wanna ♪ -♪ I just wanna feel good ♪
♪ I'm not even close to kidding ♪
♪ Write it in an email ♪
♪ Watching as she looks For her glasses ♪
♪ I'ma FaceTime with my mom tonight ♪
-[intense music playing] -[Bo] Why do I wear jeans?
I wear jeans because jeans don't watch the news.
Jeans don't read Twitter.
Jeans are just jeans.
♪ Jeans! ♪
So if you're tired of the bullshit…
-♪ Jeans! ♪ -…the politics…
♪ Jeans! ♪
-♪ Jeans! ♪ -…the constant arguing…
♪ Jeans! ♪
…buy some jeans and find out why jeans…
♪ Jeans! ♪
…are jeans.
♪ Jeans! ♪
I wanna know when Dippin' Dots is going to condemn child sex trafficking.
♪ That's how ♪
♪ It works ♪
You know what, boys and girls?
I think we need to say hi to our friend Socko.
Hey, Socko.
Where have you been, Socko?
[synthesized R&B beat playing]
[sighs]
♪ Maybe I'll feel better When I go to bed ♪
♪ Uh, maybe, but probably not ♪
♪ Maybe I'll feel better If I clear my head, uh ♪
♪ Maybe, but probably ♪
♪ I wrote a joke ♪
♪ You wanna hear it? ♪
If your least favorite word is "moist" and you tell people that,
I hate you, and I'm sor…
Every person that says that, that they hate the word "moist,"
they think they're the first person to--
they think that that's a novel idea.
Everyone hates "moist."
It's unoriginal and it's stupid,
and stop saying that like it's interesting.
My least favorite word, by the way, is "injustice."
-[mic thuds] -[cheering and applause]
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Bitch ♪
[Bo, over phone] Hey, baby, uh, it's me.
Um… our anniversary is coming up, it's a pretty big one,
and, um…
I wrote a song for you.
[peaceful music playing]
So I'm just leaving you this voicemail because, um…
I want the song to begin with this voicemail.
Like, I want the voicemail to play in the beginning of it.
So if you could just download this voicemail when you get it
and then text it to me.
Uh… you might need to, like, download another app to download the…
I don't know if you can rip your voicemail right off your phone?
You might need to, like…
just Google it.
Don't call me and ask me 'cause I know what you're gonna do.
You're gonna get this and you're gonna just think you just can't do it
and you're gonna call me, but then I'm just gonna Google it.
So just you Google it. You're an adult, you can figure it out.
Um… so just figure it out and text me the voicemail immediately
if you wouldn't mind, like right when you get this.
Thank you. Uh, I love you.
Bye.
[syncopated beat playing]
♪ You're my best friend I love you… ♪ [echoing]
♪ You know me and I know you ♪
♪ Know you, know you… ♪
♪ We got problems That we've been through ♪
♪ Been through, been through… ♪
♪ We got shit That we'll get through, uh ♪
♪ You think I'm rude to you ♪
♪ You think I am the worst ♪
♪ Because I ask When you suck my dick ♪
♪ You take out your Invisalign first ♪
♪ Come on, five years, five years ♪
♪ Still you, still me ♪
♪ Still here ♪
♪ Five years, five years, baby ♪
♪ Five years, five years ♪
♪ We order Chinese I'm eating my dumplings ♪
♪ You reach over And you take my dumpling ♪
♪ You don't even say "Do you mind?" or nothing ♪
♪ Why would you assume That you're entitled to a dumpling? ♪
♪ So I look at you ♪
♪ You look back at me like "What the fuck did I do?" ♪
♪ "If you really wanted Some dim sum ♪
♪ Then you really Shoulda gotten some ♪
♪ When we put in the order" ♪
♪ You say, "You're a psycho ♪
♪ And I, I don't wanna fight so ♪
♪ Let's just drop this" ♪
♪ "It's not a big deal" ♪
♪ "Okay, but for the record ♪
♪ You owe me a dumpling" ♪
♪ "I mean it, I won't forget" ♪
♪ "You owe me a dumpling Or a dumpling equivalent" ♪
♪ Five years, five years ♪
♪ Still you, still me, still here ♪
♪ Five years, five years, baby ♪
♪ Five years, five years ♪
♪ We found a spider in the house ♪
♪ You freaked And you jumped up onto the couch ♪
♪ Since I was close and able ♪
♪ I jumped up on the coffee table ♪
♪ You said, "You should kill that" ♪
♪ I said, "Um, no, fuck that" ♪
♪ You said, "Come on, be a man" ♪
What?
♪ You're a total anti-sexist ♪
♪ A patriarchy fighter ♪
♪ But your whole worldview collapses ♪
♪ The moment there's a spider ♪
♪ Cool, I get it This is the real you ♪
♪ It's a pleasure, nice to meet you ♪
♪ Shit like this Brings the movement down ♪
♪ Everyone's a feminist Until there is a spider around ♪
♪ Five years, five years ♪
♪ Still you, still me, still here ♪
♪ Five years, five years, baby ♪
♪ Five years, five years ♪
♪ How come every time I need To take a poo in the bathroom ♪
♪ You, out of the blue Need to use the bathroom? ♪
♪ Just use the guest room bathroom ♪
♪ That's why we got two bathrooms ♪
♪ Just use the guest room bathroom ♪
♪ That's why we got two bathrooms ♪
♪ And you know ♪
[music stops]
[airplane flying over]
Fuck!
I used to perform comedy on a stage,
um, in front of people, living humans.
And I would try to be funny,
and then the audience would sometimes laugh,
and that was really helpful because I would hear their laughter,
and that would let me know that what I was doing was funny to them.
Um…
As opposed to now,
where I'll try to be funny,
like, um…
Ooh, hoo-woo!
And then…
You see what I'm saying?
♪ A flower crown ♪
♪ Is this heaven? ♪
♪ Or is it just a white woman ♪
♪ A white woman's Instagram? ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ A white woman's Instagram ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman's Instagram ♪
Well, that's true.
-[laughs] -♪ White woman ♪
[laughing softly]
[sighs]
♪ In the sand ♪
[laughing softly]
♪ Fresh fallen ♪
♪ White woman's Instagram ♪
♪ Her favorite photo of ♪
-Ay! -[object thuds]
[music stops]
Okay, so…
Oh, whoops.
-[gasps] Shit! -[object clatters]
[yawns] This is fucking so cool.
My God, what a cool thing to do, make this fucking stupid--
What is up? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast.
I am your host, Bo Burnham,
joined in studio as always by my co-host, Bo Burnham.
What up, what up, what up?
And we are two comedians
who are talking shit no filter, not giving a fuck what anybody thinks.
-Not a fuck. -And, yeah, not apologizing for it.
-Apologizing, yeah. -We might say some crazy shit.
-Yeah, let's do it. -Um…
PC culture, man, it's--
-It's fucking exhausting, bro. -Right, it's fucking out of control.
It's just, our culture has been taken over…
-Taken over. -…by a radical group
-of SJW feminist freaks… -Feminist-- yeah.
-…who hate comedians… -They hate us.
-…who are anti-comedy and anti-joke. -They fear us. Totally.
And it's gotten to the point where you can't say anything.
-No, 100%. -Literally, you cannot say anything.
-Literally. -I will try to say something right now.
-Yeah. -Watch.
[babbling]
-Yeah, and he is trying. -And it's unbelievable because…
-It's fucking… -We've fallen so far from…
-…the heyday of comedy. -So depressing, dude,
…when Tony the Pancake was headlining The Comedy Store.
Or Salami Williams.
-On a Tuesday night he'd be crushing. -Oh, they'd just fucking murder.
-Just destroying in that room. -Just fucking absolute--
-Just crushing, you know. -Murdering, dude.
And it sucks because these people, they don't understand comedy.
-Of course not. -Okay, we're joking.
-It is not that serious, guys. -They're jokes, okay?
We're joking around.
And also, we as comedians are philosophers.
-Yes, dude. -Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor.
-We hold up a mirror or a… -…history-changing cultural figures…
and you need to recognize that, all right?
-Comedy is an art form, right? -Yeah, of course it is. We're artists.
It's an art form, and it's important because it's one of the only art forms
that is not…
-Gay. -No.
-Er, no. Right. -We can't say that, but, um…
-Yeah. Yeah, gay. -Yeah. 'Cause…
-Now they're gonna come after us, right? -Right.
-We're gonna get "canceled." -"You homophobes!"
We're not being homophobic when we say that.
"Gay" just means gay.
If another word meant "gay"
that wasn't gay, we'd use that, but there isn't one.
But there isn't, so it's gay.
But, yeah, so it's really just a war on comedy that I realized--
I was having a conversation with my sparring partner.
Nice.
And I realized that the war on comedy is really--
♪ Come on, Jeffrey, you can do it ♪
♪ Pave the way Put your back into it ♪
♪ Tell us why, show us how ♪
♪ Look at where you came from Look at you now ♪
♪ Zuckerberg and Gates and Buffett ♪
♪ Amateurs can fuckin' suck it ♪
♪ Fuck their wives Drink their blood ♪
Come on, Jeff, get 'em!
[hand drums beating]
[screams]
Blue reflector, different color back wall.
That's good for something. That's good.
♪ And the flash makes My dick look frightened ♪
Now we're fuckin' talking.
Ooh, yeah.
Oh, my…
Oh.
[peaceful music playing]
I get a lot of questions from young people.
They'll say, "How can I create content that will cut through the noise?"
And I tell them,
"Be yourself."
Okay? Because the landscape is so competitive.
There are so many people with so many different skills.
The only thing you really have to offer at the end of the day is yourself,
so offer yourself by being yourself.
Um, and if that doesn't work, then be somebody else, because…
you may suck.
Who you are on a fundamental, sort of unchangeable level
may just be uninteresting and unwatchable and useless.
So if you're that, be somebody else for sure.
And then if that doesn't work, then go like this.
Ooh, hoo-woo-woo-woo!
[synthesized song intro playing]
♪ They're really gonna Make me vote for Joe Biden? ♪
♪ Joe Biden ♪
♪ How is the best-case scenario Joe Biden? ♪
♪ Joe-Joe-Joe, Joe Joe-Joe-Joe-Joe, Joe Biden ♪
♪ J-J-J-Joe ♪
♪ They're really gonna Make me vote for Joe Biden ♪
♪ Joe-Joe-Joe, Joe Joe-Joe-Joe-Joe, Joe Biden ♪
♪ Joe, Joe ♪
♪ How is the best-case scenario Joe? ♪
[Bo] When I was 16 years old,
I started posting videos on YouTube.
Uh, and this was 2006, and YouTube was very new at the time.
And I posted videos of me performing songs
that I thought were funny that I had written.
And I performed these songs in my childhood bedroom,
which was my bedroom at the time because I was a child.
And, yeah, in hindsight it just seems absolutely insane
and invasive and strange,
but it didn't feel like that at the time.
It felt exciting.
And soon after I posted…
Hi, gang.
…my first couple of videos, they went viral.
Basically within a year of that,
I started to perform comedy professionally.
And I continued doing that until the age of 25, when I stopped.
But, yeah, so since I…
started so young,
basically every…
shitty joke, every sort of misstep is…
is, um…
There's a lot of material that I'm just really embarrassed by
and makes me cringe for a lot of reasons, and, um…
just edgy, stupid.
Yeah, it doesn't…
hold up, and… I don't know.
I just, I often wish that I could just,
you know, start over and without all the…
[sighs]
But I also know that if I didn't have that early material,
I wouldn't be where I am today
or where I was before I locked myself
in this room and lost my mind.
[synthesized music playing]
♪ I grew up As your usual suburbanite ♪
♪ A tiny town in Massachusetts Overwhelmingly white ♪
[through headphones] ♪ I went to church On Sundays in a suit and a tie… ♪
Fuck you, dude, fuck you, all right?
Look at me.
Fuck you. Fuck you!
[airplane flying over]
Oh, give it to me.
Fuck.
Damn it!
♪ Spider hiding in the corner ♪
♪ Super fuckin' normal ♪
♪ I ain't afraid of no spider ♪
♪ Why's he looking at me? ♪
♪ Why, why is he moving? ♪
♪ Stop moving ♪
♪ Oh, God, he's moving! ♪
[song ends]
It's really horr-- it's…
It's very upsetting that…
the future is in front of now.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, that we have to keep living from now onward.
[sighs]
[distorted synthesized intro playing]
[breathes ominously]
[voice electronically modulated] ♪ This isn't a joke ♪
♪ So don't joke about it ♪
♪ I'm taking it slow ♪
♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪
♪ Look at my pores ♪
♪ I'm doing fine, 29, in my prime ♪
♪ I don't wanna talk about it ♪
I am a weird-looking dude.
♪ This isn't a joke ♪
♪ I don't wanna talk about it ♪
♪ That is a birth scar ♪
I got that scar, uh, coming out of my mother.
You're supposed to see the top of your head
when you come out of your mother's, uh, pussy.
But you saw my face. I came out face-first.
♪ And look at me now ♪
♪ Woo-hoo-hoo ♪
♪ Look at me, at me, at me ♪
[song ends]
♪ So this is how it ends ♪
♪ I promise ♪
♪ To never go outside again ♪
[breathing deeply]
[synthesized song intro playing]
♪ Used to run for miles ♪
♪ Got used to meeting people Who weren't used to meeting someone ♪
♪ Who was born in 1990, no way ♪
[sighs, inhales deeply]
♪ Now I'm turning 30… ♪
Pah! Ohhh!
♪ I used to be the young one Got used to what we're doing ♪
[mumbling]
[vocalizing]
[rhythmic percussion playing]
♪ Camera! ♪
[music stops]
[birds singing]
So it's been many, many months now
of working on this fucking thing every single day,
which is, you know, a little longer than I thought it was gonna be when I started.
But, um,
you know, most days I feel pretty good.
You know, it feels like it's-- I'm staying busy, and, um,
it's been fun.
And then other days, like today,
I just feel like I'm completely spinning my wheels and wasting my time.
And I'm just-- I've now committed myself to never finishing this thing
and just being in this room until I fuckin'…
But if you're watching this, that means I did finish.
So that's really, really good.
Or it means that they found my body
and that this footage was just sort of with my body.
[overlapping dialogue]
-[clearing throat] -One, two, yeah.
How we feeling out there tonight? [echoing]
Yeah, I am not feeling good.
♪ Wake up at 11:30 Feeling like a sack of shit ♪
♪ All my clothes are dirty So I'm smelling like a sack of shit ♪
♪ Go to pour my coffee And I miss my cup ♪
♪ OMG, that is just my luck ♪
♪ Look in the mirror Say, "What's up, you useless fuck?" ♪
♪ Are you feeling what I'm feeling? ♪
♪ I haven't had a shower In the last nine days ♪
♪ Staring at the ceiling ♪
♪ And waiting for this feeling To go away ♪
♪ But it won't go away ♪
♪ I'm not really feeling Like I wanna get lit ♪
♪ Well, I feel like shit ♪
♪ Feeling like a saggy Massive sack of shit ♪
♪ Big ol' motherfuckin' Duffel bag of shit ♪
♪ All day, all shit ♪
♪ I'm not really feelin' Like I wanna get lit ♪
♪ I'm feelin' like shit ♪
♪ Ladies, do you feel like shit? ♪
♪ Tell me, do you feel like shit? ♪
♪ Fellas, are you feelin' like shit? ♪
♪ Tell me If you're feelin' like shit ♪
♪ Ladies, do you feel like shit? ♪
♪ Tell me, do you feel like shit? ♪
♪ Fellas, are you feelin' like shit? ♪
♪ Tell me If you're feelin' like shit ♪
[sighs] Fuck me, man.
Jesus.
What's up, Insiders? Welcome back to another video.
So today we're gonna be learning how to make
the perfect peanut butter sandwich.
I've been eating these things for basically every meal
for the last six months, so let's get started.
First, grab a plate.
I'm using a paper plate.
I know they're bad for the environment,
but I'd rather put a gun in my mouth than do another dish.
Next up, the bread.
I ran out of the good pieces of bread, so I have to use those weird end pieces.
Not ideal, but we'll make it work.
Next up, grab your peanut butter.
I don't currently have the top to my peanut butter
'cause I'm using it as an ashtray.
Now that you got your peanut butter, grab a utensil and start spreadin'.
I'm using a plastic fork because, like I said,
I refuse to do dishes ever again in my fucking life
and I ran outta plastic knives.
I know some of you in the comment section will complain about me using plastic,
but I bet you wouldn't say that shit to my face in real life.
If this shit ever ends and we go outside again,
I dare you to step up to me in the street.
Try me, try me!
[shouting] Step up, you fucking pussies! You think I'm fuckin' arou--
[normal voice] And there you have it, the perfect peanut butter sandwich.
[mellow jazz playing]
[electronically distorted voice] ♪ Every single cricket ♪
♪ Every fish in the sea ♪
♪ Gives what they can ♪
♪ And gets what they need ♪
♪ That ♪
♪ Is how the world wor… ♪
[song ends]
[spacy synthesized music playing]
-[music stops] -Yeah.
Dude, that's what I'm talking about, broseph.
Okay.
Welcome to the Internet.
Do you know what I'm saying, dude?
Do you know what I'm saying?
[farts loudly]
Welcome to the…
♪ Anything that brain of yours Can think of can be found ♪
Okay.
[sniffles]
Welcome to the Internet!
♪ Have a look around ♪
♪ Anything that brain of yours Can think of can be found ♪
♪ We've got mountains of content ♪
♪ Some better, some worse ♪
♪ If none of it's of interest to you ♪
♪ You'd be the first ♪
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
♪ Come in, take a seat ♪
♪ Would you like to see the news Or any famous women's feet? ♪
♪ There's no need to panic ♪
♪ This isn't a test, haha ♪
♪ Just nod or shake your head And we'll do the rest ♪
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
♪ What would you prefer? ♪
♪ Would you like to fight For civil rights ♪
♪ Or tweet a racial slur? ♪
♪ Be happy, be horny ♪
♪ Be bursting with rage ♪
♪ We've got a million different ways To engage ♪
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
-♪ Put your cares aside ♪ -Fuck!
♪ Here's a tip for straining pasta ♪
♪ Here's a nine-year-old who died ♪
♪ We've got movies and doctors And fantasy sports ♪
♪ And a bunch Of colored pencil drawings ♪
♪ Of all the characters In Harry Potter fucking each other ♪
♪ Welcome to the Internet ♪
♪ Hold on to your socks 'Cause a random guy ♪
♪ Just kindly sent you photos Of his cock ♪
♪ They are grainy and off-putting ♪
♪ He just sent you more ♪
♪ Don't act surprised You know you like it, you whore ♪
That was pretty good.
[overlapping dialogue]
♪ You know you like it, you whore ♪
♪ See a man beheaded Get offended, see a shrink ♪
♪ Show us pictures of your children Tell us every thought you think ♪
♪ Start a rumor, buy a broom Or send a death threat to a boomer ♪
♪ Or DM a girl and groom her Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your-- ♪
♪ Here's a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom ♪
One.
♪ Breakfast option You should kill your mom ♪
♪ Here's why women never fuck you ♪
♪ Here's how you can build a bomb ♪
[laughing]
♪ Here's a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom ♪
♪ Here's why women never fuck you ♪
♪ Here's a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom ♪
♪ Here's why women never fuck you ♪
♪ Here's a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom ♪
-♪ Here's why women never fuck you ♪ -♪ Here's how… ♪
[laughing]
Oh, shit!
[drumbeat playing]
Hello, everybody, and welcome to The Dump,
your online resource for all things
in the world of pop culture and entertainment.
My name is Bo Burnham.
I am an associate editorial cultural contributor here at The Dump,
but enough about me.
Today we are absolutely thrilled
to be joined by the creative team behind Inside.
I am joined via Internet by director Bo Burnham,
writer Bo Burnham,
editor Bo Burnham,
cinematographer Bo Burnham,
composer Bo Burnham,
producer Bo Burnham,
hair and makeup artist Bo Burnham.
And, of course, last but not least, star Bo Burnham.
Gentlemen, thank you for joining me.
-[others] Thanks for having us. -My kids are in the background.
-Shut up! -So my first question is for anybody.
Anyone can jump in on this.
Um, what attracted you to this project?
[talking over each other]
…was timely in its timelessness.
My dick was hard from reading…
-You're a genius. You're a genius… -Bo's a genius.
…you know, pushing the f-stop.
Great, and my next question, and this is, again, this is for anyone.
Anyone can jump in on this.
There have been a lot of discussions in our industry
about the need to diversify both those in front of the camera
and those behind the camera.
And, frankly, I'm looking out at this group
and I'm not seeing a single woman or person of color.
And I just, I wonder if anyone wants to address that.
I'll take this one.
Yeah, so first of all, thank you for asking this question.
Um, if you hadn't asked this question, I was gonna ask you to ask this question
because it's so important, so thank you.
Um…
Unfortunately, there are systems of power in place that need to be dismantled, okay?
And these systems have been
mantled for too long, and it's on all of us to do better.
And we could and would and should have done better.
And we am, and have, and shall continue to have done, and did, and do.
Our doing isn't done and our done-ing isn't did, okay, so know that.
-Um… -It's well said, really well said.
Um, and final question again for everyone is, uh,
what's next for you guys?
[all] A vacation. [laughing]
I'm Bo Burnham for The Dump.
Thank you for watching.
[clears throat]
♪ So long ♪
♪ Goodbye ♪
We are living in a golden age of content. Good evening, everyone.
My name is Bo Burnham.
I am a lifelong content creator,
and I am absolutely thrilled to be speaking with you tonight
about the current state of our industry,
where we are, where we've been, and most importantly, where we are headed.
-Now, I look at this room and I see… -[Bo 2] All of us in this room…
…the titans of the content industrial complex.
-I see Jeff Bezos, Jack Dorsey. -…a self-sustaining system…
I see Mark Zuckerberg, that bug-eyed salamander…
-[three Bo's talking] -This is the lifeblood of our industry.
-This ever-changing public discourse… -…a lot of future CEOs…
…this eternal conversation born anew at every moment, happening everywhere,
across all platforms, between all users,
-this feeling… -…digital content management…
…this steady, formless feeling that hangs over everything,
-this untamable, aimless urgency… -[other Bo's continuing indistinctly]
…this sense that all of this is going to burst at any moment,
it just has to, it can't sustain like this,
not with this much speed, not with this much force.
The fear of what will happen when it ends, when it hits the brick wall.
And the other fear, the deeper fear, the unspeakable fear
of never hitting the wall,
of this feeling never ending…
never slowing down, but rising forever,
like a Shepard's tone,
an endless and pointless climb
towards a terrible and dense nothing.
[voices stop]
[acoustic guitar strumming]
[mumbles]
[continues strumming]
♪ Stunning 8K-resolution Meditation app ♪
[airplane flying over]
Oh, fuckin'…
[Bo, over speakers] Why do I wear jeans? I wear jeans…
[Socko] From the myopic lens of your own self-actualization.
This isn't about--
♪ Content ♪
♪ Daddy made you your favorite ♪
♪ Open wide ♪
♪ Here comes the content ♪
So, um, just a little update.
Uh…
Time is still…
you know, passing.
♪ I'm sticking with Jeffrey ♪
-♪ Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff ♪ -♪ Jeff ♪
♪ Jeffrey Preston Bezos ♪
♪ Bezos ♪
♪ I get a feeling when I ♪
♪ Look in his eye ♪
♪ Do you need 180 billion ♪
♪ Different reasons why? ♪
♪ I'm going with Jeffrey ♪
♪ Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
[playing "Stuck in a Room"]
♪ Trying to be funny And stuck in a room ♪
[sighs]
♪ Are you feeling nervous? ♪
♪ Are you having fun? ♪
♪ It's almost over ♪
♪ Just begun ♪
♪ Don't overthink it ♪
♪ Look in my eye, don't be scared ♪
♪ You say the ocean's rising ♪
♪ You say the whole world's ending ♪
♪ It already… ♪
♪ You say the ocean's rising ♪
♪ Like I give a… ♪
♪ You say the whole world's ending ♪
♪ It already did ♪
♪ It's only a problem ♪
♪ When you go outside ♪
♪ You think you're alone ♪
♪ If all the people die ♪
[singing indistinctly]
[light switch clicks]
[ominous electronic chords playing]
[sighs] This fuckin'…
I don't know what went wrong.
It's beat me down. [voice echoing]
I feel…
I'm done being sad.
Oh, my phone makes me sad, ooh!
Who cares?
Um…
I've lost.
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get on out of your seat All eyes on me ♪
♪ All eyes on me ♪
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get out of your seat All eyes on me ♪
♪ All eyes on me, yeah ♪
♪ Am I going crazy? ♪
♪ Maybe, maybe not ♪
♪ I swore I had a point to make But I forgot ♪
♪ Edit, all the time ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ You don't wanna play right now ♪
♪ You don't wanna wake up You don't wanna live ♪
♪ Tell me what you feel right now ♪
♪ Tell me what You're feeling right now ♪
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get out of your seat ♪
♪ All eyes on me, all eyes on me ♪
♪ Heads down ♪
♪ Pray for us ♪
♪ Heads down now ♪
♪ Pray for us ♪
♪ Heads down ♪
♪ Pray for us ♪
♪ Heads down now ♪
-♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪ -♪ Are you feeling nervous? ♪
-♪ Are you having fun? ♪ -♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
-♪ All eyes on me, all eyes on me ♪ -♪ It's almost over, it's just begun ♪
-♪ Get on up there right now ♪ -♪ Don't overthink this ♪
-♪ Get on up, get on up ♪ -♪ Look in my eye ♪
-♪ Don't be scared ♪ -♪ Don't be shy ♪
♪ Come on in, the water's fine ♪
♪ We're going to go ♪
-♪ Where everybody knows ♪ -♪ Don't be scared ♪
-♪ Everybody goes ♪ -♪ Don't be shy ♪
♪ Come on in, the water's fine ♪
♪ We're going to go Where everybody knows ♪
♪ Everybody goes ♪
♪ Everybody ♪
-♪ You say the ocean's rising ♪ -♪ We're going to go ♪
-♪ Like I give a shit ♪ -♪ Where everybody knows ♪
-♪ You say the whole world's ending ♪ -♪ Everybody goes ♪
♪ It already did ♪
♪ It's only a problem When you go outside ♪
♪ All eyes on me, all eyes on me ♪
-♪ Got it good, now get inside ♪ -♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get on out of your seat All eyes on me ♪
-♪ All eyes on me ♪ -♪ …everybody knows ♪
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Go where everybody knows ♪
♪ Everybody goes ♪
♪ Pray for me ♪
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get on out of your seat All eyes on me ♪
♪ All eyes on me ♪
-[humming] -♪ Come on ♪
♪ Get your fuckin' hands up ♪
♪ Get on out of your seat ♪
♪ All eyes on me, all eyes on me ♪
[bird chirping]
Hi.
So…
uh…
thank you for your patience.
Um…
I've decided that I'm going to stop doing this
because I've been trying to finish this special for many months now.
I keep thinking that I'm done.
I'll write an ending and I'll film an ending,
and then I'll edit it and I'll watch it,
and then I'll feel like I'm not done and I have to do something else.
And…
I think it's partly because I…
the thing that I'm writing about is an ending,
so it's hard to end whatever this is.
I'm just-- I feel like I'm waiting for some big idea
that's gonna tie it all together and make sense of it and satisfy me.
But, uh…
I don't think that's gonna happen.
And the more I wait for it, the more shitty I feel and look.
So, yeah…
Um…
When this started, I…
You know, I don't even know what I…
Um… yeah, so I decide…
I realized that the only way this thing is going to stop
is if I stop doing it, so I'm gonna stop.
And…
all right, goodbye. Thank you.
[mic clatters]
♪ Apathy's a tragedy And boredom is a crime ♪
♪ I'm finished playing now I'm staying inside ♪
♪ If I wake up In a house that's full of smoke ♪
♪ I'll panic, so call me up And tell me a joke ♪
♪ When I'm fully irrelevant And totally broke ♪
♪ God damn it, call me up And tell me a joke ♪
♪ Oh, shit ♪
♪ You're really joking At a time like this? ♪
-[fire crackling] -[maniacal laughter]
[hysterical screaming]
[audio cuts off]
-[clears throat] -[objects clatter]
Shit.
[clears throat]
Hi, um, so I'm gonna do one more song.
Uh… I know the last song seemed like it should have been the last song,
but this is actually the last song.
I just wanna say thank you for watching if you watched this.
I appreciate it.
I really do.
And, um… thank you, yeah.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Um, this is a song about a chicken.
♪ The chicken wakes up Like she does every morning ♪
♪ To the sounds Of her husband's screams ♪
♪ Sat in the dark on the eggs She is warming ♪
♪ She closes her eyes And dreams of walking to Memphis ♪
♪ Becoming a dentist ♪
♪ Anything but this ♪
♪ I mean, she likes her life As a mother and wife ♪
♪ But is that all she is? ♪
♪ She stares out the window ♪
♪ The very next morning ♪
♪ The chicken decides To make her escape ♪
♪ Get a taste of freedom ♪
♪ She runs out the coop That her life's been confined to ♪
♪ Suddenly sees the things She's only dreamed of ♪
♪ Just up ahead Gophers run through a meadow ♪
♪ Deer graze ♪
♪ Birds sing ♪
♪ Her future is waiting Right there for the taking ♪
♪ There's just one thing ♪
♪ The chicken must first ♪
♪ Cross the road ♪
♪ The ♪
♪ Road ♪
♪ A sea of trees and green and moss ♪
♪ Waiting just across the road ♪
♪ The ♪
♪ Road ♪
♪ A life of brighter days ♪
♪ A width of road away ♪
♪ The road is gigantic ♪
♪ The chicken is little ♪
♪ She moves ahead, left, right, left ♪
♪ Right, left, right ♪
♪ All of a sudden She stops in the middle ♪
♪ Frozen in place By a pair of headlights ♪
♪ It's anyone's guess What then happened next, but ♪
♪ Most think ♪
♪ She died ♪
♪ But I think we ought To believe that she got to ♪
♪ The other side ♪
♪ So that's ♪
♪ Why she did it ♪
[orchestral music playing]
Hello, I'm Bo Burnham,
president of Inside Studios and adult man in a baseball hat.
We here at Inside Studios have built a global fan base
through the unique brand of our storytelling.
And tonight I am absolutely thrilled to announce our biggest endeavor yet,
the Inside Cinematic Universe.
The ICU will be an interconnected series of films
further exploring the beloved characters and themes established by Inside,
the film you are currently watching.
So to the fans, I want to say thank you.
Thank you for your support.
You are why we do it, and we love you.
And we are just getting started.
[music fades]
[peaceful music playing]
[easy-listening music playing]
[martial music playing]
[plaintive flutes playing]
[epic music playing]
[guitar riff playing]
['50s style] ♪ Yeah, come on ♪
[music fades]
[peaceful symphonic music playing]
[orchestral drums pounding]
[music fades]
[crowd in film whooping]
[whooping stops]
[chair rattles]
♪ I don't know what's happening ♪
-♪ I don't know what is ♪ -♪ Going on ♪
-♪ What the fuck is ♪ -♪ Going on? ♪
♪ I don't know what's happening ♪
-♪ I don't know what is ♪ -♪ Going on ♪
-♪ What the fuck is ♪ -♪ Going on? ♪
♪ I don't know what's happening ♪
-♪ I don't know what is ♪ -♪ Going on ♪
-♪ What the fuck is ♪ -♪ Going on? ♪
Uh, wait a minute.
♪ What the fuck is going on? ♪
♪ …going on? ♪